A Soccer Story

Football Through the Years

 

Olympians,

 

Summer is in full swing, and so is hype for Our Olympics!

 

Index:

Just Finished: Football III

What's Next? 

Ongoing: Pickleball Tournaments 

Just Finished: Football III: Penalty Kick Pentathlon

Soccer is often regarded as the world's game. In terms of international sporting events, no events reach the levels of attention and viewership of the Olympics except... the FIFA World Cup. Our Olympics has taken on the beautiful game several times, including just yesterday, and it seems an apt time for a recap on Our forays as many will have football on the brain this weekend.

 

2014 

On a gloomy day in July, a few friends converged on the "Fields for Kids" in La Crosse. Nevermind that they were all adults, it was time to kick a ball around. Athletes were hard to come by on a day as grey as this. In total, six participants showed to brave the rain, and we chose a mid-size pitch to play soccer. The FIFA World Cup final was the following day, so we divided up to represent the two belligerents: Germany and Argentina. A barbershop clock made by Gustave's grandfather sat silently, counting up the minutes in our 60 minute match. Alex Siemers brought the best of his European culture and soccer skills to captain his side (the Germans), with Kyle Crayton helping at mid-field and repping his elite soccer training camp shirt. Greg Nigon opted to avoid knee injuries by playing it safe in the goal. He once played soccer at the high school level, and once only. He was ejected from the team on their first outing when his patella decided to zig left when he zagged right. Heading up La Selección was Al Peterson, bringing his own soccer credentials of two years on JV to the pitch backed by Gustave Sexauer at mid-field, touting one season (3rd grade) of team play. Artski Sexauer manned the Argentine goal, also hoping to avoid a knee injury, as he'd been playing hard without an ACL in one knee for twenty-five years. He also figured that at 59 years old, he didn't have the endurance to run a 60 minute game. True to that, none of us did. The medium-size pitch was too much for our severely understaffed teams and the game was soon moved to a more appropriate, small field with small goals. Still, breakaways that formed one-on-one goal scoring opportunities were frequent. Die Nationaldrei scored in the first minute, the second, the fourth, and the fifth. Unfortunately, there was no crowd to start a "sieve" taunt at the goalie. Peterson responded with goals in the second, ninth, and fourteenth minutes, but Gustave was serving better with assists than scoring. At one point he even charged toward an open goal, but dribbled past the goal instead. Artski was doing his part to keep out the heat, even diving and sliding on the wet grass like a baseball player coming into home to block the ball. He realized goaltending wasn't a foolproof way to avoid injury. In the end, the combined skills of the Germans won the day, settling the score at 14-10. It proved a predictor of the FIFA final, which ended also in Germany's favor: 1-0 in extra time.

 

2018 

Four years later, attendance hit an all-time high at the second edition of Our Olympics football. Despite that, we would have only been able to fill one side of a regulating eleven person game. Phoenix, AZ played venue, and the setup for this event remains one of the most elaborate in OO history. Alex Siemers, returning from his prior gold, and Wilson Holland, avid soccer player and fan, squared off remotely, choosing names and colors before drafting their teams based on resumes nicknamed with famous aliases. "I'll take Hamm with one year of middle school play as a defender", "I want Ronaldo, with four years at the high school level as a forward", and so on. With the managers' remote blessings, Greg Aird arrived to captain the Omaha Three Lions, wearing yellow and picked by Holland, and Andrew Sikorsky showed up in white to lead the FC All Stars for Siemers. Katrina Sexauer took a spot on the bleachers and prepared to officiate the game. The pitch this time was full-size. The only issue was determining where the sides were as there were no painted lines. This made for fewer boundary battles and throw-ins than a typical game. The half-size teams caused the amount of running in this 90 minute game to be untenable. Just two minutes in, Sean Arnold scored the first goal of the match for Omaha, sneaking it past Tony Strada, tending for the All Stars. Brittany Thomas (FC AS) evened things back out in the 7th minute, finding a way through Sean Hammond who was decked out in his keeper's uniform on the Three Lions side. The Three Lions also included Stasa Arnold (who scored in the 26th minute), her sister Anya Sroka, and Kyle Hague (who found the goal in the 42nd minute). The All Stars' roster rounded out with David Strait (scoring twice) and Gustave Sexauer (scoring in the 37th minute in redemption for his open goal miss four years prior). Sikorsky called Katrina out onto the field to ref from within the chaos and made sure that she got her steps in. Seeing the fatigue close up, Katrina called the half at the 30th minute and was praised by the players for doing so. The match would now close at 60 minutes. In the second half, the All Stars began leading 3-2, increasing their lead to 6-4. Tony Strada continually left the goal to put extra pressure on offense, but paid the price. The Three Lions closed in on the goal and in the last fleeting moment of a strike, Strada was only able to manage a header, which ricocheted the ball right into his own goal. Only down by one and with hearts pounding, legs feeling solid, and lungs pumping wide open, Omaha pushed their limits to even things up. It wasn't to be. David Strait put the ball in their goal, ultimately finalizing the score at 7-5 for the FC All Stars. Notable outcomes from the game included Stasa and Anya saying the next day that they'd never been so sore in their life [from all the running], and FIFA eventually copying our water break format pioneered by Katrina at roughly the halfway mark in each half, four years later at the World Cup in Qatar.

 

2026 

The heat is hot and the ground is dry on a dirt lot in the middle of Tuba City, AZ in July. Fourteen people showed up for what was billed the "Penalty Kick Pentathlon" by Karen Jong who devised the format. Actually playing a match on this 90°F evening would have been grueling, so we skipped straight to the end game. Many knockout matches at the international level go to PKs, and so we had to try out this highly dramatic capstone to tied games. Spain and Argentina are squaring off in FIFA's men's final this Sunday, so we formed teams by fan allegiance (and evened things out with the rest who didn't care one way or the other). Val Thoroyan headed up defense for Spain, playing keeper, while Rickey Lawson, Sarah Rose Cass, Gus Ruchman, Carina Easton, Erik Cox, and Felipe Bauer got ready to strike. Gustave Sexauer took his turn at the goal for Argentina, blocking for his team consisting of Katrina Sexauer, Annie Silcox, Hayes Isaac, Robert Bettis, and Chris Jemelian. For the first round, everyone had a go at a standard penalty kick. 12 yards out from the goal the ball was placed and they had one go (after a practice kick) to do their worst. Thoroyan held off half of the incoming kicks, but was starting to learn the range of skill of the kickers to improve her strategy. She gave a tip to Gustave Sexauer: everyone kicked toward the right. Now in the goal, Gustave put up with a barrage of incoming balls. He managed to save the first one, but Bauer sent a missile in, just grazing his head. There was no question, he was in over his head in the big leagues - Our Olympics style. He regained composure, saving the next two balls, but Cox, Thoroyan, and Ruchman all kicked fast ones past him later, Thoroyan notably kicking way left. In round two, kickers had to use their non-dominant foot. Jemelian and Bettis didn't have much trouble with this, but all others faltered in one way or the other. Errant balls and low speed was the name of the game. G. Sexauer managed a clean sheet. For round three, the strikers approached backwards, turning around at the last second before kicking the ball. Many found this challenging, not knowing when to turn. Bettis had a solid kick, but after VAR review, his point was taken back as he had turned too early and had too much of a normal kick. Kartina Sexauer had Thoroyan's number and put the ball past her. Ruchman was the second and only other backwards kicker to have a confirmed goal in this round. Three spins were required before kicking the ball in the fourth round. This not only dizzied the kickers, but also made it difficult for the keepers to anticipate when or how the ball would be kicked. Both goalies got past each other, with Bauer and Bettis putting in the other two goals. For the final round, drama was a necessity. Kicks were done normally, but any added drama could bring bonus points from the newly appointed referee: Sylvia Cardounell. Argentina had no luck scoring in this round, giving Thoroyan a clean sheet. In response, the Argentines hit the ground, put their head in their hands, yelled "off-sides!", and despite their defeat, formed a pump-up huddle around Isaac. Spain pumped themselves up with a Norwegian "row" chant, a cartwheel out of Bauer, and Cass screaming, "football is life!". But after a fourth blocked kick, Easton threw a fit and her hat on the ground. Cox finally found the goal, and the celebrations got rolling. Thoroyan scored next and tore off her shirt in elation. Ruchman was last up and feigned tripping to cause a distraction, but then circled back to ram the ball into the goal after all. The final score ended with Spain on top 10-8 before bonus points. In a hint of corruption, ref Cardounell joined in on the Spanish team's group photo. She then announced Spain won the drama points 16-11, but she had to give her the team an extra point on top of the individual points per athlete for their dramatic effort as a whole. In sum, Argentina had no chance from the start in a hostile venue such as this. They even were down a player, six on seven, but it wasn't factored in to the scoring. No sympathy was given, but a look back at the history will show that the FC All Stars, in the prior edition of Our Olympic soccer, overcame their one-player deficit and stilled pulled out the W. Another look back will tell you that Our Olympics has a perfect record of predicting FIFA winners (based on our 2014 match). Spain will undoubtedly win on Sunday per the outcome of Our event.

 

While the world watches, we play. 

 

What's Next?

The pressure is on to make the next event as fun as the last. Weigh in on what you think would be a good event here: Our Olympics Poll

Ongoing: Pickleball Singles and Doubles

Ask your doctor (or their husband) about how to join the long term pickleball tournaments.

Thanks for reading, see you next time, and enjoy watching the FIFA World Cup!

Link to Our Olympics Website

-Gustave

Commissioner, Our Olympics