Hammer Time
Olympians,
Our Games are back in person, and in a big way: The hammer throw event just drew record attendance!
Index:
Just Finished: Athletics XVII
What's Next?
Ongoing: Pickleball Tournaments
Just Finished: Athletics XVII: Hammer Throw (16lbs)
By popular demand, hammer throw became the first in-person event of 2026. While historians will note that Our Games already held the event in Athletics II in 2010. While true, that hammer was just a softball on a string, and Chris Friedman's 51.18m winning throw would not come close to being matched with the men's Olympic weight hammer, weighing in at 16 pounds. Nor would Paris' worst Olympian, Patrick Hájek's 68.80m performance be threatened.
A record-breaking group of contenders flooded the old ballfields in the middle of Tuba City by the waste transfer station to show what they'd got, or rather to see if they had it at all. The 4kg shot put from last year was set to fly, newly fixed on a handle. Gustave and Annie made practice throws, but when Kevin took to the circle he blasted it off in a high arc that saw the hammer come crashing down, literally. Upon impact, the homemade connector had broken, and we no longer could contest the women's weight.
Bumping up to the men's weight caused a wave of panic through the athletes. Could they really swing around a weight equivalent to a full-size bowling ball? The greater issue, ironically, became the length of the wire, which was too long for some shorter throwers to keep the weight off the ground in their swings. Annie threw all three of her attempts straight off, using her non-dominant side due to a recovering shoulder. She had set the bar at a respectable 8.38m. Kevin was next and thankfully the regulation manufactured hammer was able to resist his long distance fling. His second of three throws went farthest at 15.82m. Gustave spaced his attempts out and started with a 10m toss. Gus followed with a single throw, surpassing 9m. He remarked that he was, "good", no need to manhandle the weight again. Sarah Rose had a similar feeling and called it good after one training throw. Rachel had had enough after a swing as well. Diana went next and the momentum of the weight made for a rollicking swing that ended with her falling out of the ring onto her side. Katrina then channeled Trunchbull energy and let the weight swing around her like a misbehaving child. Gabi tried a similar approach with an unnatural grip, but it netted her a measurable dent. The hammer until this point had left paint marked divots in the ground, but the coating was beginning to wear off on the rough sand. Trucks driving by slowed as their drivers strained to understand what a group of bilagáana were doing in hundred degree heat by a long disused backstop on a barren patch of earth. Mitch followed his spouse, leaping into second place with a 12.27m result on his second attempt. Though despite his track & field background, neither him nor anyone else had thrown a hammer before. Erik then made his Our Olympic debut, knocking his glasses off as he hurled the weight between the flags marking the 39.5 degree scorable landing zone. Steve then took to the stage, to live his dream of participating in a hammer throw. Flying over 8m, it was a respectable first try. Felipe then got the weight swinging almost vertical and popped off a throw outside of the foul line. His next two attempts went better, with his third and best attempt of 11.86m putting him on the bronze bubble. Val was the final competitor to start after being visibly worried after a training throw. It turned out she had her grip misplaced in training and this time it felt better. Surely the weight of her reputation as winner of every event in Tuba City (not actually true), was fatiguing her arms more than the oversized hammer. She managed two respectable distances, then gave up her last attempt as a DNS. A few throwers had yet to give their final attempts, and none was a bigger podium threat than Gustave. Trying to launch off a rocket, he bounced the weight on the ground and let go of it to save himself from injury, ending his effort in a scratch. In fact, none other than Felipe were able to continually improve, having their 3rd attempt come out on top. Gabi finished off the competition with a properly gripped throw, improving to 6.73m, but the lineman found it just inches outside of the foul line, scratching the result.
In the end, Felipe held onto the bronze with 11.86m. Mitch managed silver with 12.27m. Kevin, in his Our Olympic debut, and no doubt helped by his towering stature, blew the rest of attendees away with his 15.82m throw early in the competition.
Winner's Interview with Kevin
OO: What experience do you have with the hammer throw?
K: None! On my way here I thought we were going to be throwing regular hammers.
OO: Did you do any practicing with hammers (the tools)?
K: No, but I through about throwing some off the dam today.
OO: What Olympic event would you lose to Annie at?
K: A lot of things... running, sprinting...
OO: What's your favorite summertime beverage?
K: Hot chocolate. It's the best in winter, summer, every season.
OO: What's your favorite childhood birthday memory?
K: I got a Nintendo 64 for my 10th birthday. I think it had just come out.
OO: Will you throw a hammer again?
K: Now that I'm aware of it, yes!
OO: How will you spend the next four years training to make up the 200' distance you were behind the worst Olympian?
K: Lots of workouts and swinging weights.
OO: What should be the next event?
K: Keg tossing?
What's Next?
The best events are planned with friends. Reach out if you have an idea! Check out the full list of events page for ideas: https://sites.google.com/site/gtsolympics/home/list-of-events
Ongoing: Pickleball Singles and Doubles
The pickleball tournaments are and will always be ongoing. Feel free to throw your hat in the ring!
Thanks for reading, see you next time, and enjoy watching the FIFA World Cup!
-Gustave
Commissioner, Our Olympics
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