Our Olympics Quinceañera

The "good book", which helped ignite the quest to compete in every Olympic event.

 

Olympians,

What were you doing fifteen years ago? Graduating high school? College? Sucking on your thumb? Sitting on your thumbs? Were the goals you set then still the goals you strive for now? Our Olympics continues to shake off the cobwebs as we continue to challenge ourselves to try every event in the Olympics. As a big anniversary issue of the blog, hold out 'til near the bottom where you'll get a smattering of fond memories related by athletes who have competed since 2010.

Index:

Invite: Archery III

Just Finished: Canoeing VI 

Just Finished: Cycling VII

Just Finished: Boules II

Quinceañera Special

Ongoing: Pickleball Tournaments 

INVITE! Archery III: Team Recurve

Unless you quiver at the thought of impaling a hay bale, join us for team archery (and a potluck) on July 17th at 6:30pm at the Fairgrounds parking area just east of Tuba City. We'll be dividing attendees into teams of two, based on departments you work in, for some friendly competition. All of the implements of archery destruction will be provided, creating a level playing field equipment-wise. Feel free to invite your family and friends!

Just Finished: Canoeing VI: K-1 200m II

Pasture Canyon is an infamous location. It's been the focal point of a border and water rights dispute between two nations. It's been said to have any manner of germs, diseases, and varmints from schizomycetes to leeches. It's a wonder no one has accused Nessy's cousin, the Pasture Canyon Monster, of hiding in its depths. But from now on, this dubious "canyon" will go down in the history books as an Our Olympics venue.

With a full spread of food on a low water beach, the Olympians convened to try and beat the 49 second time of worst Olympian of Amira Kheris Algeria, and Gustave Sexauer's original Our Olympics time of 2m 31s. With the Rauschenberger's identical kayaks set to go, the paddlers went two by two to the opposite end of the dam and lined up for a 200m* drag race. Jordan and Gustave were first. Jordan had to dodge some floating plants (possibly carnivorous) which gave him a slightly longer path to the finish line. Gustave powered ahead and just kept ahead of Jordan through to the finish. At 1m 22s, this course seemed blisteringly fast compared with Lake Neshonoc's course from 2011. That course was an out-and-back, requiring rounding a buoy, and honestly even that was only guessed to be 50m from the dock. Either way, a new benchmark was set. Next up, Katrina and Diana duked it out, with Katrina playing the same inside line game to scooch ahead. Finally, Luke and Val headed out to position themselves at the starting line across the lake. Maybe it was Val's shark henna tattoo, or maybe it was her fear of swimmers itch and associated rashes, but her speed was unmatched out of the gate. She kept steady as bystanders cheered while fishing from the dam. Her form broke down a little near the end, but it didn't matter. Luke floundered behind her wake and almost took a dip as his craft spun around. Val crossed the line in an unbeatable 1m 19s, grabbing the gold. Unthinkably fast! Just imagine what she could have done in one of those 17' racing kayaks. 49 seconds? We may never know. Thankfully, at time of writing, no competitors had yet become ill from paddling Pasture Canyon.

*After measurement, the course came in between 180m and 200m

 

Winner's Interview with Val Thoroyan

OO: What's your experience with kayaking?

VT: I grew up in Florida and liked to paddle around and catch turtles.

OO: Snappers?

VT: No, the yellow or red bellied kind. I did get scraped up or bit by the turtles sometimes, though!

OO: What's your motivation?

VT: To kick ass!

OO: Were your arms displayed enough on the course?

VT: I should have worn a muscle shirt, but I did at least get to show off my shark henna tattoo which was perfectly timed with this race. It may have given me a boost!

OO: What's the breakfast of champions? As in, what did you have this morning?

VT: Purely Elizabeth cereal with oat milk. It's the only cereal that I eat. Put that in your blog!

OO: If you could replace the fluid in the reservoir with another to increase speed, what would it be?

VT: Joint fluid

OO: What event would you be most likely to qualify for the Olympics in?

VT: Weightlifting, because I'm Armenian.

OO: What event should be in the Olympics that isn't?

VT: Dirt biking. There's a lot of them. Competitive yoga. Imagine the judging! Who transitioned best to warrior one? 

Just Finished: Cycling VII: Cross-country Mountain Biking II

Put on by Navajo YES, this annual race served as a second edition of Our Olympics competition for cross-country mountain biking. Much closer to official length than our first event pinned to Greg's wedding, this race was 12.8 miles through one of the most famous parks in the country. Unfortunately, the date of the race was moved just a month ahead of time, meaning many people who likely would have come could not. But Luke Yarnall is not many people. He switched his flights and without further ado made sure he would be at his first ever race that offered a prize. Plans were made to form a peloton, to start fast, stay fast in the middle, and end fast, with Luke, Katrina, and Gustave finishing 1st, 2nd, 3rd.

On the morning of the race the temperature quivered at 70F, but was poised to push to 90F. 89 racers joined the event, but 86 would be disqualified for not being Our friends. The race began behind a pacegator on the first and only major downhill, but no one told the driver what a safe slow speed would be down the hill. Several people crashed as others swerved around them. Then the road mellowed out, but switched to coarse gravel which challenged those with narrow tires more than others. Gustave and Luke flip-flopped in order as the road switched to dirt, then sand. Luke made sure to take in the sights, as it was his first time in the park. Gustave pulled away, but did make sure to swing wide on the side spurs to observe the stunning landscape. Katrina pedaled in the middle of the race pack, but stopped for pictures whenever possible. The spurs made the spacing of the competitors known, and Gustave picked a bilagáana as his goal to stay ahead of. All was well until the last hill when this mystery whitey from Kayenta passed him on the steepest section of the final climb. It was a sprint to the finish, but a few missed shifts blew it for him. Regardless of the others, Gustave was followed by Luke and Katrina, 1, 2, 3. After some celebratory burgers, Luke said he'll be back to complete the other five Tour de Rez races.

Just Finished: Boules II: Lawn Bowling

Our Olympics' latest demonstration event had high class, staged at the prestigious and historic Jefferson Park Lawn Bowling Club overlooking Seattle and the Puget Sound from high on a hill. While the prestigious aspect may be debatable (they let us play very informally and for free during this public event), the event was a great learning experience for three friends who used to rule the alleys at All Star Lanes under the guise of a ten-pin bowling team.

 

Reuning some fourteen years later, Greg and Gustave met up with G #3: Nick Garvin. With Kate and baby Jay onlooking, the play commenced with large wooden balls rolling across impeccably trimmed grass. Similar to bocce, the aim is to get the "biased" balls to curve in towards a smaller "jack". Greg faced off with Gustave first, losing the first end, but he came back kicking in the latter three ends, finishing the last with three points in that end alone to win the match. Garvin had a bit of a trickier time getting started with no warm ups like the other two, and good conversation overshadowed the match. Gustave nosed out a win. Finally, Garvin tried Gustave's bowls in his final bout against Greg and found his rhythm, leaving Greg pointless after four ends.

 

The records were 1-1, 1-1, and 1-1. Not going to let that stand, the three agreed to play a three person end to sudden death. Garvin was voluntold to go first, a major disadvantage as two other bowls would be rolled after his fourth and final toss. Greg won the right to go last in a rock paper scissors duel with Gustave. As the balls rolled out, each took the lead and then lost it as the array at the far end of the pitch rearranged after every throw, including late in the third go around when the jack was punted away from where it originally sat. Garvin's precarious position rolling first failed him as expected when Gustave cast his last ball out, mere inches from the jack. Greg had the last say, though, and as this final ball of the day curved across the pitch, it was clear that it wasn't a winner. The win, therefore, went to Gustave who rode off to victory and ordered a butterscotch-dipped lime ice cream. 

 

 Quinceañera Special:

Fond memories from 15 years of Our Olympic Events

Ben Rodgers remembers Basketball II: 3x3 from 2021

You got me to play basketball for the first time in 15 years and I surprised myself by sinking a few 3 pointers in a row! 

Jordan Zitzman remembers Athletics XV: Shot Put (4kg) from 2025

My favorite moment was when Jay, a total stranger, walked up to our shot put competition and outperformed us all! 

Al Peterson remembers Baseball I from 2013 and Athletics V from 2015

I remember hitting a few home runs into the woods that was really fun. Also the track and field events, I really liked running so the distances and throwing the shot put! Hope to make another event someday soon

Hannah Dunn remembers Athletics II: Triple Jump from 2010

As I look back on the past 15 years, there have been many highlights—but one moment stands out to me as the most potent. It’s the one that keeps drifting back to me through the decade.

I consider myself one of the OGs. I have a long history with the President, having sat next to him for years on Ken’s elementary school bus route, memorizing the Canadian territorial capitals. So when the Games were created, I was excited to test my skills with my fellow Central High Olympians. But something happened during those first Games that I can’t seem to forget.

I had a long hiatus from the sport. Some may wonder what caused this absence—college, marriage, kids, injury? Well, to really understand, we need to go back to one of the first Olympic Games in La Crosse…

It was sunny on the football field that day. The place was deserted except for the few who Gustave had invited to attend—no more than five to seven of us, tops. We had several events lined up. I’m sure there was running or throwing of some kind. But what I was there for was the long jump.

I’ve been a dancer since I was little, so I had ten years of sauté-chats, sautés, and grand jetés under my belt. And I was going to win. You have to understand that, as a dancer, I was constantly fighting the stigma of not being an athlete—that somehow, because dance is set to “Send Me on My Way” and you’re smiling, it disqualifies you from being seen as a skilled sportsman.

I gave up a lot to dance: every evening and Saturdays. No time for volleyball or track—I was too busy pushing my arabesque higher because “you’re not doing it right unless it hurts.” And I had quite a bit of success—landing several solo roles and even winning our high school’s talent show.

All those experiences had shown me that this was my moment. My moment to prove that dancers were athletes. I had a hundred years of dance history and bias riding on my shoulders, and I was going to prove myself—and prove dance itself.

I had absolutely no understanding of the long jump. A sport with ties to Ancient Greece, it’s an event in which athletes combine speed, strength, and agility in an attempt to leap as far as possible from a takeoff point into a sandpit. Strength, speed, agility? What else was petit allegro for?

So I did a few practice steps, rehearsing the feeling of stepping into a leap, shooting my body through space. I was ready.

I took a deep breath and ran—1, 2, 3, 4 steps—and then, closing my eyes, I thrust every fiber of my being into the air and landed in the warm sand. I opened my eyes and knew I’d done it.

I’d just performed the dance-trained leap of the century—right into last place. It’s pretty amazing how, when you train for height, splits, and pointed toes, your horizontal can be absolutely awful. Eight feet—maybe. I’m surprised I made it into the sand at all.

I convinced myself it was because I choked. Nerves got me. It wasn’t dance’s fault. But to this day, I can still remember that feeling from 15 years ago when I opened my eyes and thought, “Well… crap.”

Commissioner's Note: Hannah is remembering the Triple Jump, which was held the same day as the Long Jump. She finished in the middle of the pack in the Long Jump, but did indeed place last in the Triple Jump. 

Clayton Groth remembers The Cross-City Race circa 2010

I'm not sure we ever hosted the fabled "time guessing championships" but I remember the "race by an means" across La Crosse. lol Didn't Al win on the bus somehow?

Commissioner's Note: I anticipated that someone would offer up a memory of a friendly competition outside of Our Olympics, and here it is!

Artski Sexauer remembers Canoeing II K-1 Slalom from 2014

I think my favorite was kayaking in Coon Valley. The people. The course shuttling camaraderie. The rapids. All about a great sporting event. Not having replays, but also not necessary. The competition was watching every stroke! Buoy roundings. Another excellent Olympics. 

Marijo Wohlfert remembers Athletics III: 3000m Racewalk from 2013

I loved the track events in Ecuador. They were silly and fun and I remember we were all smiling ear to ear in the photos!

Gustave Sexauer remembers Curling I: Teams of 4 from 2022

I feel like the event we went all out for the most was when I rented ice time in Albuquerque. The time slot came with three members of the Roadrunners Curling Club who taught the Powers family, Boege, Katrina, and myself how to curl, before playing two ends with us. Curling was so much more fun than I imagined it would be, and the diversity of actions different positions took made it that much better. Also, it was ironic to finally try out this obscure sport in New Mexico, despite growing up in Wisconsin, a state that regularly cranks out Olympic curlers. Hopefully we'll have a chance to try it again someday and have enough rented ice time to play a full game!

Dan Nigon-Kirgis remembers Cycling III and Cycling II from 2011

My favorite event was the first road race; I believe Bliss Road was closed at the time, so you could really fly down the hill. My favorite moments happened the day before during the keririn event. The roundabout where the event occurred was quite small so I felt like I was constantly on the limit of grip of the tires to cycle quickly around the course while passing others. But the best moments came whenever cars approached the intersection and everyone had to scatter down the connected streets. I would love to know what the drivers were thinking when they encountered that scene.

 

Greg Nigon remembers a basketball game where he used a wheel chair after a knee surgery and Athletics II from 2010

 

Wheelchair basketball and wheelchair 100m during the summer of Wounded Knee. I didn't achieve my goal of dunking, but I did roast the competition on the track. I think that event was one of the few times the adage "slow and steady wins the race" actually became true.

 

Luke Yarnall remembers Chess I from 2014

In the 2013-2014 Our Olympic Season, an online chess tournament was held. I certainly did not become a skilled chess player, nor did I win, but I did develop a crippling addiction to blitz chess which lasted months or years after the event. Kids, stay away from strategic board games.

 

Stasa Arnold remembers Volleyball II from 2014

My favorite Olympic event was the very first one we Arnolds participated in - Beach Volleyball II. On top of being our first Olympic event, it was also my first earnest attempt playing volleyball as an adult. Among ball sports, volleyball pretty much topped my list of Most Despised, so it took a tremendous amount of convincing from Sean to get me to even give it another shot, now that I wasn't desperately trying to pass PE. I was never in any sports growing up, so I was extra apprehensive about diving into a sports-related activity with try-hard competitors out for blood, sucking the fun out of the entire thing (as all my PE experience taught me to expect). So when the group ended up being not only friendly and supportive, but grill masters serving up elote (another first for me!), I knew I had found my people. My favorite event ended up being my favorite moment (and not just because we totally crushed it and took gold) - it was my first time really putting effort into a competitive sport and enjoying it. Since then, there have been many memorable highs and lows of Olympic competition (and other exhausting firsts like that soccer match between the Omaha Lions and the All Stars), and I'm so grateful to share them with friends and competitors that don't lose sight of the fun.  

 

Ongoing: Pickleball Singles and Doubles

Let Gustave know if you have what it takes to join these tournaments. Both are still open to join.

Hope to see you at the next event!

Visit Our Olympics Website

-Gustave

Commissioner, Our Olympics