Olympians,   We've got our eyes set on Japan. Both karate and surfing are having their Olympic debut this summer, but we're beating Tokyo 2020 to the punch. I'm pleased to announce our next two events, but first I must say that I don't know whether to be proud of such a convincing April Fool's joke in Extreme Ironing, or if I should be checking my sanity since no one thought this goofiness was out of my norm. KARATE I: KATA A lison Nigon-Kirgis is to thank for helping usher in our first Karate event: Kata. While Kumite style Karate involves physically sparring with an opponent, Kata does not require actual fighting . It's an event where two competitors demonstrate their moves and techniques against an imaginary opponent. For our event, we will place the willing participants in a March Madness style single elimination bracket. Alison (a black-belt herself) will develop routines that get progressively harder by round. Competitors will film themselves doing the ro...

  Olympians, The next Olympic event will be... EXTREME IRONING I: SINGLES After experimenting with the varied and technical event of Figure Skating, our success has led us to up our game. Although not yet in the Olympics, there's a strong chance that Extreme Ironing will one day be included as it has both a broad following around the world given the modern fashion of pressed shirts, and a powerful international governing body based in Paris, LIE (L é gion Irones Extr ê me). Format: First, submit your video of extreme ironing in the wildest place you can find. Second, use a macro lens to get a closeup of the fibers of your garment to highlight the lack of wrinkles. Additional points will be given for other sporting equipment used, best focused facial expression, percent organic cotton, and energy efficiency of the iron. Please submit your video and photos by tonight at 11:59 pm, April 1st. -Gustave No, I don't know him.